Between

A lot of things in my life are currently between things. My home is between set ups, with new furniture being moved in, and old things moving out. I'm between full time, well paying jobs. I'm beween relationships. I'm between Game consoles (PS2 died, saving up for a NDS or PS3). I'm even between hair brained, get rich quick schemes of my roommates. And the world outside is stuck between Winter and Spring, neither of them quite fully taking hold yet.

This has left me in something of a lurch. I feel constantly like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, with no safety railing between me and the drop. No regular schedule, no expected tasks to be accomplished each day. Oh, and I have vertigo of course, so the idea of standing next to a cliff leaves me in constant fear.

That's it. I feel afraid all the time. I don't have some rock or railing I can cling onto and get some stability from. There isn't aht feeling of something old, familiar, and safe anywhere near me.

And I am a creature of habit.

It reminds me of Garret, P.I. Weird little Fantasy Detective hardback I picked up some time ago with three stories by Glen Cook about the titluar character. Garret really speaks to me. All those little mannerisms he has seem so much like my own. From his hatred of Mornings (No sane man should be up with the sun), his choice in women, his desire to only really get to work when he's starving. Even Dean reminds me a lot of one of my friends in a lot of ways. Well, other than trying to get me married off to some niece.

Ah, it's my American Dream. I would rather live like that, be able to set my own hours, working only when I want or really need to. But then again, who wouldn't? I don't exactly have any skill sets that would let me have a life that cushy, so back to the salt mines with me.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a bit more grounding to my life.


Til next time,

Grind Away